Skip to main content
So it's been a while since I've posted in my blog. Time constraints keep me from accessing the parts of me that I desire. Hopefully, now that can change.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Hating and Loving Myself

"a woman's worth isn't valued by the man that claims he loves her, but the love of self she claims before anyone can claim her..."- Jared C Loving myself has always been difficult for me. It's easier to tell myself that I'm not laudable. In times I have even hated myself. So much so, that I push the people I love the most away, feeling as if their love for me was completely unwarranted and that I was the least deserving person of this love. As I recoup from the disseverance of my marriage I realize now that for a long time I was unhappy with myself. It wasn't my husband that made me miserable or the routine of my days, it was me. I have become cognizant of the fact that I put forth my best efforts to convince myself and my husband that I was undeserving of any of the things that made me happy. I became a person I never wanted to be but had convinced myself that I was. I acted the role so well, that at the end of our marriage my husband was convinced that...
Post a Comment
Read more

*Untitled*

Intense love does not measure it just gives  Mother Teresa of Calcutta I have not written in my blog for a long long time. But between time and space, my heart hasn't stopped mending or breaking. There is a lot to be left unwritten and unfortunately those times will remain the unwritten chapters of my journey. Somethings are better left to ones soul to sort out and not necessarily the rest of the world. The past months have been a whirlwind of emotions. Ups and downs, lefts and rights. Never really knowing where I was going or what i was doing. But I'd like to focus on the quote above in this writing because I love and I love deeply but to often have I heard the words spat at me that I don't love him because I've done (fill in the blank) Each time I hear this it hurts me more and more. I love so deeply and intensely I haven't kept track of the times he has made me happy. I don't keep a tally on the times he's hurt me. Love and time forgives and heals al...
Post a Comment
Read more

On having Strength

Growing up I had always been known as the strong one. The person in the family who didn't show their feelings through a crisis as to keep everything together. It was a very brittle strength. I never felt as if I had an outlet for all the hurt I was feeling.So I always bottled my feelings up never allowing myself to feel much. Never really allowing myself to cry or to be seen crying. Five years ago that strength finally cracked. My ex-fiancée died and I was lost. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was beside myself. I had invested almost 5 years of my life into him. After he died, I went and did things to cover up the pain. Never really dealing with it. I had based so much of who I was on our relationship that when he passed away I felt like I had died. My family tried to be supportive but all I could do was push them away. I had never dealt with such anguish before. I felt vulnerable and scared. Immediately, I erected some what of a labyrinth and fortress around me...
1 comment
Read more