So it's been a while since I've posted in my blog. Time constraints keep me from accessing the parts of me that I desire. Hopefully, now that can change.
Growing up I had always been known as the strong one. The person in the family who didn't show their feelings through a crisis as to keep everything together. It was a very brittle strength. I never felt as if I had an outlet for all the hurt I was feeling.So I always bottled my feelings up never allowing myself to feel much. Never really allowing myself to cry or to be seen crying. Five years ago that strength finally cracked. My ex-fiancée died and I was lost. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was beside myself. I had invested almost 5 years of my life into him. After he died, I went and did things to cover up the pain. Never really dealing with it. I had based so much of who I was on our relationship that when he passed away I felt like I had died. My family tried to be supportive but all I could do was push them away. I had never dealt with such anguish before. I felt vulnerable and scared. Immediately, I erected some what of a labyrinth and fortress around me...
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